Blender Names Its 50 Worst Songs Ever

What do music legends Paul McCartney, Madonna, Simon and Garfunkel, and the Doors have in common? All of them – along with dozens of their peers – had songs that made Blender’s list of the 50 all-time clinkers.

Calling its selection “the most wretched compositions ever belched up onto unsuspecting movie fans,” the edgy magazine announced its choices in its May edition and will consider them in greater depth and detail in an upcoming VH1 special called 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs… Ever.

Based on three main criteria — “crap-tastic melodies,” “wretched performances,” and lyrics “that don’t make any sense whatsoever” — Blender pulls no punches in its criticism of the songs, all of which were once hits and many of which are still much loved.

Number 44 on the list, for example, Simon and Garfunkel’s 1960’s classic, The Sounds of Silence, will definitely draw an angry reaction. But Blender editor Craig Marks stands by his guns. “It’s the freshman-poetry meaningfulness that got our goat,” he says. “With self-important lyrics like, ‘Hear my words that I might teach you,’ it’s almost a parody of pretentious 60’s folk-rock. If Frasier Crane wrote a song, this would be it.”

The absolute bottom of the barrel, according to Blender, is We Built This City, the 1985 number one hit from Starship. This, Marks believes, inspired “the most virulent feelings of outrage” among the judges. “It purports to be anti-commercial but reeks of 80’s corporate-rock commercialism,” he notes. “It’s a real reflection of what practically killed rock music in the 80’s.”

The 1980’s, in fact, must have been a particularly painful time for the Blender judges. Of the 10 songs that topped the magazine’s list of the lamentable, no less than seven were released between 1982 and 1990.

Blender's 10 Worst

1. We Built This City - Starship, 1985
2. Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus, 1992
3. Everybody Have Fun Tonight - Wang Chung, 1986
4. Rollin’ - Limpbizkit, 2000
5. Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice, 1990
6. The Heart of Rock & Roll - Huey Lewis & The News, 1984
7. Don’t Worry - Be Happy , Bobby McFerrin, 1988
8. Party All the Time - Eddie Murphy, 1985
9. American Life - Madonna, 2003
10. Ebony and Ivory - Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder, 1982

Rounding out the 50 were such songs as Whitney Houston’s Greatest Love of All (30); Ricky Martin’s She Bangs (39); Billy Joel’s We Didn’t Start the Fire (41); and Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On (50).

www.blender.com